10 Keys To A Better Relationship
As thrilling, fulfilling and exciting relationships can be, they also seem to require a lot of work. Every time we meet that new handsome stranger with a charmer eye, we often find ourselves asking our heart truly seriously: “Do I really want to go through this again?”. Yes, you do. A thriving, healthy (and better) relationship can definitely be within your reach if you take time to reconsider a few things. We never said it was not going to be efforts, but if you and your partner are willing to achieve it, your relationship together might grow fonder and better. Here are 10 keys for a good start!
1. Communicate
For as long as we know of, humans have tried to communicate. Sometimes with success, sometimes not. However, the important thing is to at least give it a try, to speak out, to express your thoughts (your real ones). Your partner should never have to guess your mind. That rule will save you from desilusions, disappointement and tons of arguments. Being clear about what you want actually gives your partner a fair shot at succeeding.
2. Keep it balanced
Never forget you and your partners are equal human beings. Neither one of you should have the authority to direct the other and arguments should never have to turn into fights. Not using accusative and directive words such as “you should”, “you did not” or “you can’t” is also a good first step toward a better communication.
3. Keep it simple
Men will agree here, they like when things are simple. And as you may have noticed, they tend to run away when things get a bit complicated. So be happy, talk too much and do not overthink everything!
4. Allow yourselves some free time without each other
Remember it is okay to miss each other. It is okay to still have those “moments” you had before your relationship started: doing that thing you like every Tuesdays, grabbing drinks until sunrise, seeing those people that matters on a sunny afternoon. Do not sacrifice on that. Free time is a key to self-fulfillment. Therefore, to take that freedom away from your partner (or yourself) might be a mistake with heavy consequences. Not every single moments of your life can be shared and we have to allow that. Plus, most often, the reunion is even more appreciated.
5. Review your expectations
Having excessive expectations is the best way to set up your relationship for failure. Ask questions, clarify and DO NOT assume. This attitude will raise disappointement, sadness, resentment that will grow among the relationship. Make a list of your expectations and ask yourself if anyone could actually make up to them. Never forget that your partner is also an human being with both qualities and flaws. Just like yourself.
6. Learn the art of compromise
Compromises are part of both relationships and life. And compromising is an art! If not held right, compromises stack up over time and it’s easy for someone to feel that his life has strayed way off course, and get resentful. So before even start a discussion, know what you want… and say it! Do not think about what you should do, what will make the other person happy, what will cause the least conflict. Be open and listen to your partner as he does the same thing. Then only, make a real compromise based on what each of you really want to do. Doing so may create a win-win situation for both parties and avoid any type of future manipulations.
7. Be reasonable
We all tend to look in a relationship for something we don’t have. As setting our expectations too far, we think the other is responsible of our happiness. But he is not. It is not up to anyone to make us happy, except ourselves. Relationships are only a contribution to it; happiness or misery are a mindset’s choice. So make the right one and accept your happiness only lies within your own hands.
8. Show love, affection & emotions
Let your partner know how much you love them and never assume they actually know it. You might be surprised. Also, remember it is okay to show your emotions and share your feelings, even if to do so requires a lot of trust and safety at the core of the relationship. Vulnerability is a great way to get closer. As M. Hansen, psychologist, said, “it is all about taking the risk to be your real, genuine self “. Yes, it is a risk, but it is worth to be taken.
9. Be aware
Your own fears and insecurities can easily interfere with your relationship if you do not take time to recognize and acknowledge them. Every great relationships has highs and lows, bad and good days, more passionate times than others. Accept it and when it happens, ask yourself: “why am I in this relationship, why does it matter so much to me, is it worth it?”. It might help you to come back on track more easily.
10. Have fun
People say routine has always been a dangerous obstacle to relationships. I definitely agree. First, never take anything for granted. Second, try to still surprise your partner (no matter how much time you have known each other). Third, remember to have fun, share those things you used to love to do together. Give yourselves some precious alone time together. Laugh, experience, discover, bond. Is not a friend and a lover the thing we all want? If you are not having fun in your relationship, you may want to consider something is going wrong.
